Self-Awareness Isn’t What You Think — And That’s Why You’re Stuck
Oct 07, 2025Most People Struggle With Self-Awareness Because They’re Looking in the Wrong Place
We often hear that self-awareness is the first step to change. And it is.
But here’s the catch: real self-awareness isn’t about what you already know about yourself. It’s about noticing the things you’ve never questioned.
And that’s where most people get stuck.
My Wake-Up Call: A Scene from The Founder
Years ago, I was watching The Founder — the film about Ray Kroc and the rise of McDonald’s. In one scene, Ray is in his late 40s, standing at a petrol station, phoning in to get his next sales appointment. He’s told to head to San Bernardino to meet the McDonald brothers.
That moment hit me hard.
At the time, I was in my mid-30s. I didn’t feel like I was where I “should” be. I was measuring my success by milestones I thought I should have hit. And because I hadn’t, I was convinced I’d missed the boat.
My internal script sounded like this:
“If you haven’t made it by now, it’s too late.”
Logically, I knew that wasn’t true. I could explain a more balanced perspective. But it didn’t change how I felt. Or how I was showing up.
Now I understand why.
Thinking About Your Thinking: The Role of Metacognition
What changed everything for me was developing something called metacognition — the ability to think about your thinking.
When I started to observe my thoughts instead of being swept along by them, I noticed something important:
My definition of “success” wasn’t even mine.
It was a stitched-together script of expectations, old stories, and unspoken comparisons.
Your Brain Is a Prediction Machine — Not a Truth Teller
From a neuroscience perspective, this all makes sense.
The brain is designed to save energy. It does this by forming fast, automatic patterns based on past experience. Over time, these patterns become thinking habits.
And here’s the important part: your brain filters in what matches the story you already believe.
That means if you think, “I’m behind” — your brain will find evidence for it. If you think, “I’m not ready” — your brain will confirm that, too.
These thinking patterns become invisible unless we actively interrupt them.
Rewriting the Script Starts With One Simple Question
Stage one is still self-awareness. But not in the way we’re used to thinking about it.
Don’t just assume you know your story.
Instead, step back and read the script.
Ask yourself:
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What assumptions am I making?
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Who gave me these definitions?
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Do they still serve me?
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What would it look like to define success on my own terms?
When you become the author of your own story — not just the actor in a script someone else wrote — things begin to shift.
Success Is Personal. Make Sure It’s Yours.
For the record, I’m not aiming to be Ray Kroc. His version of success came with a lot of collateral damage.
But I am grateful for the moment that helped me challenge the story I was living — and rewrite it in a way that fits me.
Because the truth is:
The story you’re telling yourself might be the very thing that’s keeping you stuck.
Want Support in Rewriting Your Leadership Story?
If you’re feeling the pull to redefine how you lead, live, and think — it starts with awareness. And continues with practice.
📩 Contact James: [email protected]
🌐 Learn more: www.hooper-rees.com
Credit to Orex Dsgn for the image — a powerful reminder that the story we tell ourselves may be the first thing we need to change.